it'll be nice when this is over

jeez

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 17:04:29 GMT

i unsubscribed from one of the random lefty organization email lists that i never signed up for, but ended up on because i signed one petition or another and this is the message they had on the confirmation screen:

Thanks for participating. Good luck finding ways to make positive change.

am i reading this wrong, or is that kinda assy?

yep, that's the amy fisher

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 07:57:25 GMT

i hear joey buttafuoco's sex tape is pending... (i'm not even joking)

this is a new experience

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:02:46 GMT

wow. my fiancee's apparently nuts ex-wife just sent me some crazy message on yelp of all places. the most hilarious part is that she posted a "you're cool" compliment and began by saying "Actually, you're not very cool at all." zing!

bitches be crazy.

now i just have to wait

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 01:22:35 GMT

for those in other parts of the country who may not have heard, on wednesday morning, a huge boat ran into one of the supports under the bay bridge and tore a hole in its side, dumping 58,000 gallons of fuel into the bay. the fuel is a nasty black sludge that's halfway between gasoline and crude oil. it's a pretty bad spill that's spreading up the coast even though people are trying to contain it. yesterday, i emailed the baykeepers about volunteering to clean off oiled birds and was directed to an informational meeting this morning run by the fish and game department. they took our info and said if we're needed, they'll call us and we'll likely be asked to help at their facility in cordelia (~1hr away). we would be doing stuff like cleaning birds, feeding them, helping to wash oil-soaked towels, etc. i really hope they call. seeing huge pictures of oil-covered ducks in the newspaper every day makes me feel really helpless and angry.

For anyone in these parts who might be interested in volunteering (or anyone who'd like to help by making a donation), the baykeepers sent this message:

Additional volunteer opportunities will likely emerge in the upcoming days and weeks. We will let you know as soon as we have further information from our partners including the Oiled Wildlife Care Network. Consider forwarding this message to your friends and ask them to sign up on our website to show their support. You can also help out by making a donation to sustain Baykeeper's work to hold the responsible parties accountable in cleaning up this spill. Your contributions will help us respond to this crisis.

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:04:35 GMT

i just got an email from barbara boxer.

subject: Senator Boxer: Keep up the Pressure Against Meth

evidently, barbara boxer has made meth more illegal. which has been a resounding success:

Since the passage of the Combat Meth Act, the number of meth labs has decreased by about 40 percent nationwide.

~~i'm not sure how she knows this. no studies are cited. but i'm glad there are 40% less meth labs now than there were last year.~~

after snarking about this to mike, he informed me that yes, the number of u.s. meth labs has indeed gone down and that this was ascertained by a drop in the number of explosions that needed to be cleaned up. the other effect of the combat meth act, evidently, was that it opened up the meth market to columbians with real labs who make far purer drugs and have added a considerable amount of violence to the trade. so that's suboptimal...

Thu, 04 Oct 2007 21:08:41 GMT

the fucking blue angels are flying overhead today. they are loud. i hope they don't crash.

on an unrelated note, how do you think chipitts is pronounced?

meme because it's thursday

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 03:18:28 GMT

Bought everyone in the pub a drink.

Swam with dolphins.

Climbed a mountain.

Taken a fasty fast car for a test drive.

Been inside the Great Pyramid.

Held a tarantula.

Taken a candlelit bath with someone.

Said 'I love you' and meant it.

Hugged a tree.

Done a striptease.

Bungee jumped.

Visited Paris. - soon

Watched a lightning storm at sea.

Stayed up all night long and watch the sunrise.

Seen the Northern Lights.

Gone to a huge sports game.

Grown and eaten your own vegetables.

Touched an iceberg.

Slept under the stars.

Changed a baby's diaper.

Taken a trip in a hot air balloon.

Watched a meteor shower.

Gotten drunk on champagne.

Given more than you can afford to charity.

Looked up at the night sky through a telescope.

Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment.

Had a food fight.

Bet on a winning horse.

Taken a sick day when you're not ill.

Asked out a stranger.

Had a snowball fight.

Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier - do boobs count?

Screamed as loudly as you possibly can.

Held a lamb.

Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one.

Taken a midnight skinny dip.

Taken an ice cold shower.

Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.

Seen a total eclipse.

Ridden a roller coaster.

Hit a home run.

Fit three weeks miraculously into three days.

Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking.

Adopted an accent for an entire day.

Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.

Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.

Had two hard drives for your computer.

Visited all 50 states. - 70% there

Loved your job for all accounts.

Taken care of someone who was really sick.

Had enough money to be truly satisfied.

Had amazing friends.

Danced with a stranger in a foreign country.

Watched wild whales.

Stolen a sign.

Backpacked in Europe.

Taken a road-trip.

Rock climbed.

Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice.

Taken a midnight walk on the beach.

Been sky diving.

Visited Ireland.

Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love.

In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.

Visited Japan.

Bench pressed your own weight.

Milked a cow.

Alphabetized your cds.

Pretended to be a superhero.

Sung karaoke.

Lounged around in bed all day.

Protested something you feel strongly against.

Been scuba diving.

Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye.

Kissed in the rain.

Played in the rain.

Gone to a drive-in theater.

Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.

Started a business.

Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.

Dropped Windows in favor of something better.

Fallen in love and not had your heart broken.

Toured ancient sites.

Taken a martial arts class

Swordfought for the honor of a woman.

Played a DVD for more than 6 hours straight.

Been in a movie.

Crashed a party.

Loved someone you shouldn't have.

Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy.

Gotten divorced.

Started an office war.

Gone without food for 5 days.

Made cookies from scratch.

Won first prize in a costume contest.

Ridden a gondola in Venice.

Gotten a tattoo.

Rafted the Snake River.

Been on television news programs as an "expert".

Got flowers for no reason.

Made out in a public place.

Got so drunk you don't remember anything.

Been addicted to some form of illegal drug.

Performed on stage.

Recorded music.

Eaten shark.

Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself.

Gone to Thailand.

Seen Siouxsie live.

Bought a house.

Been in a combat zone.

Buried one/both of your parents.

Shaved all of your hair off.

Been on a cruise ship.

Spoken more than one language fluently.

Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone.

Bounced a check.

Performed in theatre.

Read - and understood - your credit report.

Raised children.

Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country.

Found out something significant that your ancestors did.

Called or written your Congress person.

Walked the Golden Gate Bridge.

Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking.

Held someone while they were having a flashback.

Piloted an airplane.

Pet a stingray.

Broken someone's heart.

Helped an animal give birth.

Been fired or laid off from a job.

Won money on a T.V. game show.

Broken a bone. - toes don't really count

Killed a human being.

Gone on an African photo safari.

Ridden a motorcycle.

Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100m/h.

Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced.

Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol.

Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild. - umm?

Ridden a horse.

Had major surgery.

Ridden on a passenger train.

Had a snake as a pet.

Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing.

Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours.

Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states.

Visited all 7 continents.

Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days.

Eaten kangaroo meat.

Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground

Been a sperm or egg donor.

Eaten sushi.

Had your picture in the newspaper.

Had 2 healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime.

Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about.

Gotten someone fired for their actions.

Gone back to school.

Parasailed.

Changed your name. - sooner than later

Petted a cockroach.

Eaten fried green tomatoes.

Read The Iliad.

Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read a book by them.

Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, or cups because your apartment needed them.

Taught yourself an art from scratch.

Killed and prepared an animal for eating.

Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt.

Skipped all your school reunions.

Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language.

Been elected to public office.

Written your own computer language.

Thought to yourself that you're living your dream.

Had to put someone you love into hospice care.

Built your own PC from parts.

Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you.

Had a booth at a street fair.

Dyed your hair.

Been a DJ.

Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal.

Written your own role playing game.

Been arrested.

Hated someone.

Picked up and moved to another city to just start over.

i'm in yr country stealin yr internets

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 05:26:32 GMT

the steelers lost? i'm gonna go ahead and blame brian st. pierre....

anyways, i'm in cabo now, chilling on my balcony stealing some wireless from a neighboring resort (i think). if all goes well, i should have daily picture updates. there's already a photoset on flickr.

*yawn* time for more sleeping.

headed for cabo

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 05:00:40 GMT

leaving for mexico in the morning. see yinz in a week.

passport update

Fri, 27 Jul 2007 02:39:33 GMT

i received my passport in the mail today. evidently, the state department's website was just fucked up. go me.

new passports look significantly different from the old ones. there are lots of cheesy pictures. and microchips...

i have to go paint my kitchen now.

anger

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 20:12:18 GMT

i'm leaving in a month to go to mexico, which now requires that you have a u.s. passport if you want to be let back into the country. last week, i applied for a passport and paid about double to have it expedited (2-3 weeks) because it takes 2 months to process otherwise. i just checked the status of my application online and it said this:

When you applied, you requested Routine Service. You should receive your passport within 10-12 weeks from the date you applied.

now, i'm aware that if you get proof that you applied for a passport and are traveling before september or something, you don't necessarily need the passport. what i'm pissed about is that i paid an extra $100 for that shit and they fucked it up. they won't speak to you on the phone unless you're leaving in 2 weeks and their "email system" doesn't actually let you send a message (wtf?).

i really have no idea how it could possibly have been unclear that i applied for expedited service since the woman at the post office stamped EXPEDITE in red ink all over the application and return envelope. perhaps the website is simply mistaken. perhaps it really is being rushed. all i know is that if i don't get that passport in 3 weeks, i will be so pissed off that the ensuing phone conversation will probably ensure that i will never be allowed to travel outside the u.s.

summer movie weekend

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 15:46:26 GMT

in the last 2 days, i've seen both live free or die hard and transformers. both were very entertaining, but transformers was without a doubt the better film. in fact, i am willing to say it is one of the best movies i have ever seen.

first, die hard: if you liked the other movies, you will like this. you must, however, have a very high tolerance for fakey movie computer shit. basically, the action scenes are top notch, but there's a whoooole lot of suspension of disbelief necessary to keep from groaning every 10 minutes or so when the "hackers" do a basically impossible thing by randomly punching a keyboard.

second, transformers: i waited in line for over an hour in front of a talkative weirdo with a tie-dyed shirt and a ponytail last night to see this movie, despite the fact that i had purchased my tickets in advance on fandango. was it worth it? no question. the cg, of course, is in-fucking-credible. the plot and human characters (which are usually what brings these movies down) were totally fine. and i can say without hesitation that it was one of the most exciting movies i've seen. you barely notice that it's 2.5 hours.

as a person who genuinely loves big crazy movie explosions and effects, i recommend both of these movies. but if you've only got time/money for one, transformers is the way to go.

fuck

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 17:55:33 GMT

i am supposed to be on a plane to pittsburgh right now. and i would be if i hadn't missed my flight this morning. my bag, however, is still on its way there. so that's something.

several bitchy united employees, two standby flights and one reading comprehension error later, i'm at work eating an enormous chocolate chip cookie. apparently united canceled a flight to denver (my layover) last night, so i was one of 45+ standby hopefuls whose dreams of getting wherever we were going were dashed this morning, including a frail-looking elderly woman in a neck brace. awe.

so now i'm looking at other flights over the next couple weeks. mike and i have some southwest rapid rewards flights, so i might be able to do that and even come out ahead since united refunded my money.

what i've learned today:
1. an hour before the flight leaves is not a reasonable time to leave for the airport that's 30 mi away
2. i should really be flying out of the oakland airport anyway
3. don't ever check luggage (if there's something you can't carry on, think ahead and mail it before you leave)
4. crying may get your money refunded, even when something is your own damn fault
5. put your pillz in your carry on

so, sorry to my brother for missing his graduation party. and to anyone else who wanted to chill. i'll probably make it out in mid-july.

meme borrowed from maradeth

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 16:44:26 GMT

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Alison

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle.)
Alisizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
Black Otter

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (your middle name and street you live on)
Marie Fleetwood

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name.)
Bodal

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (Your 2nd favorite color, and favorite drink)
Blue Water

7. YOUR ARABIC NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name)
Ldmalk

8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:( Parents middle names)
Kelly (fun fact: my mom doesn't have a middle name)

9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Jack

benadryl dreams

Fri, 25 May 2007 15:35:52 GMT

as it is allergy season, i've been taking benadryl every 4 hours for the past month or so. it does its job and keeps me from being a sniffly, gooey, itchy mess for the most part. but in the last 2 weeks or so, i've had to make a terrible choice: whether to take the benadryl before i go to bed. on the one hand, it keeps me from feeling totally stuffed up and in pain from post-nasal drip. on the other, it gives me these ridiculously vivid dreams/nightmares that make me feel less than well-rested just about every night.

anyone else have this problem? i've yet to find an effective night time allergy alternative. any suggestions?

check out this crazy shit

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 19:35:15 GMT

A huge ball of fire from an exploding gasoline tanker truck caused an overpass in the MacArthur Maze in the East Bay near the Bay Bridge to collapse on top of the highway below early Sunday, "virtually ensuring major traffic problems and confusion for weeks to come. read more

pitchers

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:26:12 GMT

near the old office...

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:05:26 GMT

I love it when people post stupid survey thingies like this in low-traffic communities where no one is likely to know who they are, let alone care about their purposely assy answers to 32 questions about themselves.

that said, i'm kinda bored watching my man play his way-too-long turn on lost planet, so i'm going to fill this out...

1. Can you cook?
i've been getting a lot better at cooking lately. been trying some new recipes and creating some original concoctions that generally get good reviews.

2. What was your dream growing up?
i wanted to be a microbiologist/epidemiologist and travel around the world containing outbreaks of deadly diseases. now i sell porn.

3. What talent do you wish you had?
i really wish i could play an instrument.

4. Favorite place?
i don't think i have one, really.

5. Favorite vegetable?
i like those edamame soy beans you get at japanese restaurants a lot.

6. What was the last book you read?
i've been reading the blind watchmaker by richard dawkins in preparation to read his most recent book, the god delusion

7. What zodiac sign are you?
taurus

8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?
just the one on my arm

9. Worst habit?
being a lazy ass who expects other people to clean up after me

10. Do we know each other outside of lj?
there is no one on my list who i do not know in some capacity outside of livejournal

11. What is your favorite sport?
football

12. Negative or optimistic attitude?
traditionally negative, though i'm trying to be more optimistic

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
que?

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
i've been pretty lucky so far. no life-threatening illnesses or accidents, no enormous debts i'll never be able to pay, very few unexpected deaths of family/friends.

15. Tell me one weird fact about you:
there are only weird fictions

16. Do you have any pets?
2 dogs

17. Do you know how to do the macerana?
the macarena was released in 1995. might as well ask if i can do the tootsie roll. (no)

18. What time is it where you are now?
6:51pm

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
i'm not a fan

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
i'm pretty satisfied with the way i look

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
depends on the crime

22. What color eyes do you have?
brown

23. Ever been arrested?
only once

24. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
pay off some credit cards and pay down some loans. pure excitement.

25. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
punkers duck brand

26. What's your favorite bar to hang at?
there are no decent bars near my house. i had my last day of work party at the gold dust lounge, which was enjoyable

27. Do you believe in ghosts?
not usually

28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
i've been having a lot of fun lately building a desk

29. Do you swear a lot?
probably more than i should

30. Biggest pet peeve?
motherfuckers who can't drive

31. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
indescribable

32. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
umm. yeah, so if yinz want to do this thing, please feel free. i'm dying to know who believes in ghosts....

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 08:36:15 GMT

cosmo is my boyfriend mike's dog. and my dog nowadays. he has many wonderful qualities, but he also has an unfortunate penchant for eating socks. i guess i always knew that there'd be a time where he couldn't pass one of the socks and unfortunately, now happens to be that time.

he threw up a couple times on sunday and since this morning he's been incredibly lethargic and refused to eat or drink. around 11pm, we decided that it was an emergency and took him to the vet hospital. they did some x-rays and he has a blockage in his lower intestine that will require surgery.

since it costs many thousands of dollars to have an on-call vet come in at 2am and perform this surgery, we have to wait until tomorrow morning to take him to our normal vet. they kept him at the startlingly expensive vet hospital overnight to make sure he's hydrated and nothing gets worse. it was hard to leave him there and it's proving hard to sleep now, but there weren't many other options. please send him good thoughts. he needs them.

simple way to help women in shelters

Wed, 07 Mar 2007 18:06:56 GMT

cutups sent me this url to donate chlorine-free tampons/pads to women in shelters. you just choose a state and drag the little heart into the house and you've helped women who can't afford to buy that stuff for themselves.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 16:07:51 GMT

i caught whatever horrible plague has been going around my office for the last 2 weeks. this fucking sucks.

superbowl XLI

Mon, 05 Feb 2007 17:36:30 GMT

fuck peyton manning
prince was hot in HD

ahhhh

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 18:53:49 GMT

i'm going to let this photo speak for itself

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:08:28 GMT

i took some pictures today

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 04:47:53 GMT

1 - the world-famous market street cinema: see the beauty, touch the magic
2 - the corner of 7th and market. you can see the capital dome in the background
3 - the orpheum theater where the debut performance of legally blonde: the musical will be playing